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Post by villanelle on Sept 30, 2019 14:17:20 GMT -5
I'm in a book club. I hate it.  It's super casual, so you just go or not each month. We alternate between fiction and non-fiction. A few years back, I was in the best book club ever. I loved every book, fiction or NF, and yet they were often things I never would have read without the club, with is the best part of book club. The way books are chosen for this group is pretty casual (and I don't like it). Every few months, we select the next few months. People just throw out ideas, there is some basic commenting, and then we vote in a FB poll. This club has one very... involved person, and she almost always ends up suggesting the books. Her taste is not mine. And because she's very... vocal, if anyone else suggests something, she typically says she's read it, and does so in a way that makes it seem like we shouldn't pick it and everyone backs off. (As contrasted with other people who say, "I've read XYX but would be happy to discuss it in October!") It feels like we are always reading the "it" book that everyone is discussing at the moment. This also means that getting it free from the library is tough. We usually ready fairly meaty, serious books. So basically, I'm looking to come armed with suggestions when we next discuss books. I think this person is pushing people away, which is why most months lately we've either canceled when no one said they were coming, or it is her and one or maybe two other people. And I'll admit that the stubborn part of me also just wants some selections to NOT be from her because I hate that she's so heavy-handed. I want to win at book club; help me do so! |
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Post by Miss Prudey on Sept 30, 2019 15:02:41 GMT -5
Some libraries have book club sets with multiple copies of titles set aside specifically for groups, so you could check at your local libraries.
Some non-fiction we’ve read:
-The Big Burn: Teddy Roosevelt and the Fire that Saved America by Timothy Egan
-Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time by Susan Scott
-The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair That Changed America by Erik Larson
-People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts by Robert Bolton
-Finding Mañana: A Memoir of a Cuban Exodus by Mirta Ojito
-Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor E Frankel
-The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff
Classics we’ve read:
-The Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis
-Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
-The Great Gatsby by F Scott Fitzgerald
-1984 and Animal Farm by George Orwell
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Post by Miss Prudey on Sept 30, 2019 15:21:07 GMT -5
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Post by Wise Old Goat on Sept 30, 2019 16:45:05 GMT -5
I hate when book clubs pick out the newest book - because good luck getting it! Honestly it might be easier to just find a new book club |
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Post by villanelle on Sept 30, 2019 17:55:07 GMT -5
I hate when book clubs pick out the newest book - because good luck getting it! Honestly it might be easier to just find a new book club I'm trying to make it happen. I don't know enough people here to get it going, but two of my besties are in this group and we are all annoyed. Since I posted this, we had the following happen: This woman posted her list of Sept reads. Once of our members said that one of them had been on her list so maybe we could make it a book club selection. This woman replied that, "Since we have books picked through December, I would rather not do that because I will completely forget it by then. I like starting book club books one week before we discuss..." So basically, we can't read anything she's ever read, because we always select a few months out. I understand not wanting every book to be one you've already read, but the presumption that she just gets to veto a book that isn't her choice is pretty typical of her. I need more friends here. Or I need my friends to get more friends, so that we can have a better book club. |
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Post by Peachy on Sept 30, 2019 18:08:34 GMT -5
Vote her out of the book club!! 😂
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Post by Miss Prudey on Sept 30, 2019 18:18:45 GMT -5
The three of you can start your own. If you’re not enjoying it, do something different.
My original book club invited a couple of women who ended up being very opinionated & vocal, which made some others uncomfortable & not wanting to come. So, we disbanded for a few months, then restarted with the original 5 of us & added dinner to the mix.
Both book clubs I participate in have each member pick a month to choose the book & that’s what we go with. Not everyone always likes the book, or finishes it, but that’s okay. Our dinner & book club meets in homes (if we wanna cook) or at a restaurant (if we don’t). The other group has ended up meeting at a member’s house because she is in a wheelchair & couldn’t participate otherwise.
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Post by villanelle on Sept 30, 2019 19:28:52 GMT -5
The three of us (and a 4th Japan person arriving in a month) don't know anyone else, and we really want this book club to expand our circle a bit. But we want that expansion not to include this woman. She's actually a decent person, just abrupt and hard to deal with and kind of lacking awareness about others.
We (the three of us friends are in the middle of an intense text exchange about boot club. I don't want her to know we are ditching her because it would be unnecessarily hurtful, but there's no way she'd know. I did look at the current book club group on Facebook and was shocked to realize there are 15 members. I don't think more than 8 have posted in my time in the group, and only 4 or 5 (this woman, me, my two friends, and maybe one more) have ever attended.
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Post by coachgrrl on Sept 30, 2019 20:05:43 GMT -5
I lucked into a great book club here. Great people and lots of different books. The groups name- wine, dine and underline. Perfect!
Some of the books we’ve done
The Swans of Seventh Avenue
Educated
The nightingale
The Radium Girls
Next year in Havana
Where the crawdads sing.
We all submit 2 books for consideration and then vote for our picks via a survey monkey survey 2x a year
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Post by Wise Old Goat on Oct 1, 2019 17:21:26 GMT -5
I would maybe suggest that each month a member gets to pick a month and no one can veto it. To book months out like that and then veto everyone's choice isn't cool.
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Post by villanelle on Oct 1, 2019 17:24:11 GMT -5
I would maybe suggest that each month a member gets to pick a month and no one can veto it. To book months out like that and then veto everyone's choice isn't cool. We really need a book club divorce. There are so many things I don't like about this one, beyond just this person. They way books are selected, the fact that it meet out at restaurants instead of house, the haphazard scheduling. About the only things I like about it are my two friends and "books". But it's awkward, and also the three of us don't really know anyone else in the area to invite. Anyone have cool friends in Alexandria, VA who like to read? |
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Post by Peachy on Oct 1, 2019 21:20:06 GMT -5
It really sounds like this one person is ruining it for everyone else. Based on the lack of participation by all of the club members, I’d risk rocking the boat to see what others thought about either starting a new group without her or just kicking her out. One bad apple, as they say...
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Post by villanelle on Oct 2, 2019 11:54:47 GMT -5
I think it's also a vicious cycle. G is so heavy-handed so no one participates, but then they don't feel like they can speak up because they aren't active participants. That's part of the reason I've vowed to be more involved for a last a few months. Then I'll feel like I'm in more of a position to act as a bit of a leader, or at least a voice. Right now, it feels like G's Book Club so stepping with with suggestions of overhaul feels like an overstep.
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Post by Wise Old Goat on Oct 2, 2019 16:47:19 GMT -5
How about reaching out to the non-particpants and feeling the mood to see if they'd be willing to form a dark book club on the down low?
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Post by villanelle on Oct 2, 2019 17:21:18 GMT -5
How about reaching out to the non-particpants and feeling the mood to see if they'd be willing to form a dark book club on the down low? It may come to that. I'm hesitant because I really don't want word to get back to G. She's a PITA, but she's a good person and I suspect she'd be deeply hurt. I don't want to do that to her. Book Club is hard! |
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Post by niccikatie on Oct 8, 2019 14:35:14 GMT -5
How about reaching out to the non-particpants and feeling the mood to see if they'd be willing to form a dark book club on the down low? It may come to that. I'm hesitant because I really don't want word to get back to G. She's a PITA, but she's a good person and I suspect she'd be deeply hurt. I don't want to do that to her. Book Club is hard! If that's true, is there any way you can mention to G that the way she handles this is a turn off? I mean, it would be awkward, but actually kinder in the long run. It's possible she's truly blind to the way it makes others feel about this issue. I would also start pushing the idea that you rotate who picks and and just go with whatever that person selects. The end. Good luck! |
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