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Post by Peanut on Oct 29, 2019 7:49:52 GMT -5
While speaking with my young adult daughter she mentioned that a friend, who has been in a long-term relationship for several years, is seriously considering marrying her partner. Why? Health insurance. Seems her partner was laid off with a low chance of being hired back on any time soon, if at all. The company he worked for is struggling, and as the least senior employee in his department things aren't looking positive for him. She recently started a new job with decent health care coverage for married couples. A few short months ago, friend was somewhat wishy-washy on the thought of marriage due to her parent's disastrous relationship. What are your thoughts regarding a health insurance marriage? Is this yet another way Millennials are redefining marriage?
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Post by Tpatt100 on Oct 29, 2019 8:09:23 GMT -5
I knew of Marines 20+ years ago that got married for the same reason and often for the extra money the military gives to married personnel.
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Post by maurinsky on Oct 29, 2019 9:04:22 GMT -5
Seems like a rational choice to me. Siobhan got married while she was still eligible to be on my insurance, and I asked her if she was sure she didn't want to wait another year so she could be covered, since Jason was still in school then.
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Post by Peachy on Oct 29, 2019 9:16:29 GMT -5
It’s not just millennials. My uncle married his long-time girlfriend so she could get on his insurance, and our CFO married her longtime boyfriend so he could get on her insurance plan. I can’t say I blame them nowadays.
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Post by nansel on Oct 29, 2019 9:34:57 GMT -5
First of all, thank 8lb 6oz baby Jeebus that UHC gives us the freedom from having to think about this particular decision. It's no different than other material reasons to get married, which people have been doing for millennia. People get married to join their lives together, and for some that means the other person's money. Or insurance. It's a non-romantic notion, but not new in the slightest. A few short months ago, friend was somewhat wishy-washy on the thought of marriage due to her parent's disastrous relationship. If my daughter was that friend I would tell her to give her head a shake. If marriage was something she wanted, I'd ask her if she wanted it bad enough that he only tipped over to wanting to marry her because of something material she could give him. If she was as wishy-washy as he was about marriage, but firm and happy in the relationship, and was going into it clear headed, I'd still ask her if an unemployed guy who needs her money (which is what insurance is) is what she envisions as a life partner. It would depend on who's idea it was.
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Post by stellarfeller on Oct 29, 2019 9:42:19 GMT -5
First of all, thank 8lb 6oz baby Jeebus that UHC gives us the freedom from having to think about this particular decision. It's no different than other material reasons to get married, which people have been doing for millennia. People get married to join their lives together, and for some that means the other person's money. Or insurance. It's a non-romantic notion, but not new in the slightest. A few short months ago, friend was somewhat wishy-washy on the thought of marriage due to her parent's disastrous relationship. Exactly what Nansel said! (Edited because I wrote in the wrong place 😄)
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Post by villanelle on Oct 29, 2019 11:31:14 GMT -5
When it seems to be driving a decision that would otherwise remain firmly parked at the curb, I think it's awful. And a big part of that awfulness is the fact that our system encourages this sort of choice for people who want to be responsible.
But I think there are very often logistical, non-romantic concerns tied up in a choice to marry. Wanting kids and wanting them to be born to married parents--that's not especially romantic, but it something a lot of people think about. Or having family support the relationship, when they might not approve of "living in sin".
Certainly a lot of military folk marry for the benefits, or even because it will allow them to move off base in some cases. Do I have a lot of hope for those marriages--again, when those things seem to be the impetus for the decision, not incidental benefits or drivers of specific timelines? Nope. But it's certainly not uncommon.
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Post by GiftOfFlavor on Oct 29, 2019 12:24:05 GMT -5
I’d love to marry my BF my health ins is expensive AF and his union policy with his airline is SO GOOD
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emmjay
Full Member
Posts: 1,734
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Post by emmjay on Oct 29, 2019 14:04:46 GMT -5
When it seems to be driving a decision that would otherwise remain firmly parked at the curb, I think it's awful. And a big part of that awfulness is the fact that our system encourages this sort of choice for people who want to be responsible. But I think there are very often logistical, non-romantic concerns tied up in a choice to marry. Wanting kids and wanting them to be born to married parents--that's not especially romantic, but it something a lot of people think about. Or having family support the relationship, when they might not approve of "living in sin". Certainly a lot of military folk marry for the benefits, or even because it will allow them to move off base in some cases. Do I have a lot of hope for those marriages--again, when those things seem to be the impetus for the decision, not incidental benefits or drivers of specific timelines? Nope. But it's certainly not uncommon. Plenty of people getting married to get visas or residency status in various countries, including the United States.
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Post by Mamapalooza on Oct 29, 2019 14:28:53 GMT -5
First of all, thank 8lb 6oz baby Jeebus that UHC gives us the freedom from having to think about this particular decision. It's no different than other material reasons to get married, which people have been doing for millennia. People get married to join their lives together, and for some that means the other person's money. Or insurance. It's a non-romantic notion, but not new in the slightest. A few short months ago, friend was somewhat wishy-washy on the thought of marriage due to her parent's disastrous relationship. If my daughter was that friend I would tell her to give her head a shake. If marriage was something she wanted, I'd ask her if she wanted it bad enough that he only tipped over to wanting to marry her because of something material she could give him. If she was as wishy-washy as he was about marriage, but firm and happy in the relationship, and was going into it clear headed, I'd still ask her if an unemployed guy who needs her money (which is what insurance is) is what she envisions as a life partner. It would depend on who's idea it was. Yes this, plus we recognize common law marriages so people can share benefits without being legally married. With some benefits (life insurance, for example) you don't even need to live together to name a beneficiary. In a "long-term relationship for several years"? Might as well, all else being equal. That's different than a new relationship.
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Post by maxmammy on Oct 29, 2019 17:08:05 GMT -5
I can totally understand it. Insurance is expensive 😬
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stl
Full Member
Posts: 633
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Post by stl on Oct 29, 2019 19:35:24 GMT -5
I guess my question would be, if you've been in a long term relationship for years, why wouldn't you want to get married for reasons other than insurance or immigration or other non-love reasons? Personally, I don't agree with it and wouldn't do it.
In this particular case has the partner tried to find a different job with benefits? There are solutions besides getting married just for insurance. Or does the woman's health insurance cover domestic partners? Add him that way.
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Post by alicechalmers on Oct 29, 2019 19:38:14 GMT -5
If they’re committed, there are worse reasons.
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Post by Mabel on Oct 29, 2019 20:58:11 GMT -5
My niece and her long term bf are considering marriage for the same reason.
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Post by villanelle on Oct 30, 2019 12:05:35 GMT -5
It never occurred to me before this thread that the party that clutches its pearls about the sanctity of marriage is also the one that support policies that create reasons outside of love and family for people to marry. Maybe if health insurance weren't astronomically expensive and getting legal residency or a visa wasn't so expensive and time-consuming and unlikely, we'd have fewer people marrying for reasons outside those that their supposed G-d supposedly intended.
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Post by marianparoo on Nov 2, 2019 14:51:26 GMT -5
Meanwhile, living in a country with UHC, I have to explain this to people
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Post by Wise Old Goat on Nov 3, 2019 15:14:50 GMT -5
Do you not have common law marriages? Here after a certain period of cohabitation - I think a year?? - you are for all intents purposes considered legally married and entitled to all the rights and privileges of that. I was on dh's insurance before we were married.
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Post by marianparoo on Nov 3, 2019 15:58:41 GMT -5
Do you not have common law marriages? Here after a certain period of cohabitation - I think a year?? - you are for all intents purposes considered legally married and entitled to all the rights and privileges of that. I was on dh's insurance before we were married. I think common law depends on the state in the USA. We have it in Israel, but since we have Universal Health Care, nobody needs it for that.
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Post by junebug on Nov 3, 2019 22:33:27 GMT -5
There are very few states that recognize common law marriages. But many big companies (and definitely the big law industry I am in) recognize domestic partnerships and allow you to add your domestic partner, provided that they meet the criteria (which is similar to common law).
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Post by justthinking on Nov 4, 2019 7:13:28 GMT -5
On the opposite end of this--and also due to our screwed up medical process--I knew a lady who was diagnosed with cancer. She was engaged at the time, but they couldn't get married because she qualifies for medicaid but his income would have made her not qualify for medicaid and this was before ACA so she wouldn't be able to qualify for any other insurance due to her pre-existing condition. They ended up doong a non-legally binding wedding about 2 days before she died in hospice.
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