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Post by GiftOfFlavor on Nov 28, 2019 19:41:43 GMT -5
A friend of mine was dating a guy for a couple months. They see each other a lot but she kinda felt something was off, like he wouldn’t stay over at her house (always said he had to go home to his dog but wouldn’t bring the dog over when she suggested it), he has no social media, just kinda off.
Turns out he has a long time girlfriend. She had her sister look him up on her Facebook and turns out he has one, he was just blocking my friend so she wouldn’t know. His gf is on there too.
So she’s drunk on wine at Thanksgiving deciding If she’s gonna tell the girlfriend. They were having unprotected sex and she figures if he was doing that with her he’s probably doing it with others and wants to tell the gf she probably needs to get an STD test.
I told her to at least wait until she’s sobered up to do anything.😳
Would you want to know?
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Post by shaena on Nov 28, 2019 19:57:53 GMT -5
No. I bet that woman already knows. And on the flip side that's just prolonging drama.
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Post by nansel on Nov 28, 2019 20:08:29 GMT -5
Yes, I agree with Shaena. The friend should cut her losses and remove herself from the situation completely. It might feel satisfying to think about telling her while drunk and feeling righteous, but it’s just playing into drama for no good ending.
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Post by alicechalmers on Nov 28, 2019 20:26:52 GMT -5
I would absolutely want to know, but not from a drunk person. If that person was sober and thoughtful, it would be awful but I would definitely want to know.
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Post by villanelle on Nov 28, 2019 21:41:11 GMT -5
I don't know. I agree with AC that hearing it from a drunk person would be even more horrific. Beyond that, I'm not sure. I might make a phone call, but at the first sign of abuse or disbelief or anything like that, I'd end the call. Not my circus.
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mare
Full Member
Posts: 2,517
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Post by mare on Nov 28, 2019 22:01:48 GMT -5
I don't think I'd want to get involved. I'd definitely get STD tested and would day something to the girlfriend if anything was positive. If not, I don't kniw that I would.
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Post by Mabel on Nov 30, 2019 12:55:30 GMT -5
I’d want to know and I’d be irritated if my friend knew I was dating a guy with a long term girlfriend and just wasting my time. But I wouldn’t want my friend to tell me while drunk.
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Post by GiftOfFlavor on Nov 30, 2019 13:45:49 GMT -5
I’d want to know and I’d be irritated if my friend knew I was dating a guy with a long term girlfriend and just wasting my time. But I wouldn’t want my friend to tell me while drunk. She didn’t tell in the end. I feel bad for her, she liked him a lot and really thought it was going somewhere. What is wrong with people?! |
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Post by Mamapalooza on Dec 2, 2019 15:21:18 GMT -5
Yes, I'd absolutely want to know that there was a third person in my bed, but while sober. I'd also want the evidence (texts, emails, whatever) so the bastard couldn't gaslight me with denial.
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Post by villanelle on Dec 2, 2019 18:05:54 GMT -5
I’d want to know and I’d be irritated if my friend knew I was dating a guy with a long term girlfriend and just wasting my time. But I wouldn’t want my friend to tell me while drunk. My impression was that the two girlfriends don't know each other. |
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Post by GiftOfFlavor on Dec 2, 2019 18:07:00 GMT -5
I’d want to know and I’d be irritated if my friend knew I was dating a guy with a long term girlfriend and just wasting my time. But I wouldn’t want my friend to tell me while drunk. My impression was that the two girlfriends don't know each other. They don’t. |
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Post by Mabel on Dec 3, 2019 0:01:04 GMT -5
Ok I just reread the scenario really carefully lol, I was misunderstanding, I thought a friend found out another friend’s bf had a long term gf and should she tell her friend about the gf. I totally misunderstood and was obviously drunk the first time round LOL.
Rereading, I feel really bad for the gf and obviously the bf is a lying sack of shit, and I HATE when people just get away with this crap....but I honestly have no clue what I’d do. I’d sober up first. Then I guess I’d get tested for std’s. If any were positive I’d definitely tell her. If I were clean I’m really not sure. I still might because I’m a bitter bitch....
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Post by katy on Dec 18, 2019 2:28:42 GMT -5
I think if she sobers up and wants to tell the girlfriend, that's fine. She should be braced for a bad reaction and not stick around to stay involved for the fallout. Some women will be appreciative and some will not.
It's certainly not her duty to tell.
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